The Case of the Quiet Little Storms
When you look at your life, whether you see smooth sailing or stormy seas all depends on your perception. Perception is the meaning you attach to your memories. In other words, it’s not what happens to you that counts but how you choose to perceive it. This perception then becomes your prototype, the foundation for your attitude and the key to how you interpret the world.
To put it another way, from all the experiences we have in our lives we choose to remember certain things. These memories reflect our perception and are as individual as we are. You and I can have a similar experience but totally different views of what happened. Then we set up situations that reinforce our perception and keep repeating them so our perception turns out to be true. This cycle can positively or negatively impact our lives. If it’s the latter, changing our view of a memory can give us the chance to reinvent and heal. My client, Pat, had one early recollection that convinced him he didn’t count and that no one cared for him. This mindset produced decades of physical illness, paralyzing ineffectiveness, and the near invisibility that became Pat’s life theme. With his permission, here is Pat s early recollection, the one that dictated the story of his life and created the path that he, for a long time, believed. It was the path Pat was on when we met.
The Adler Institute (now University) from which I’d just graduated with my master’s degree referred a case to me for family counseling – a father, mother and daughter. What immediately struck me about the father, Pat, was the constant smile pasted on his face. I felt uncomfortable and sensing that smile was a mask, I recommended Pat come see me alone.
Pat sat down for our first individual session and quickly revealed that he had epilepsy. He said he had at least four seizures a day for twenty years and was so heavily medicated he could barely function. He explained that his wife was the breadwinner because he was in a constant stupor, just going through the motions, and could fall asleep anywhere, anytime. Pat was also on heavy medications including Phenobarbital, Dilantin, and anti-seizure drugs. Sadly, this had been his life for the last twenty years.
As Pat described it all, I intuitively said, “Could it be that it’s a case of quiet little storms?” When I spoke those words it was as if a light switch turned off and his smile disappeared. To uncover the personal issues underlying this, I suggested Pat might benefit from hypnosis. He readily agreed. This was really a big stretch for me because I’d only had one course in hypnosis, much less hypnotizing someone with epilepsy. Still, I proceeded. Since the Adler Institute emphasized the importance of early memories in helping clients understand current patterns of behavior I used hypnosis to regress Pat back in time. He landed in an early memory at age five. Here in his own words is how Pat describes it:
“My mother drove me to school, left me at the door and drove away. It was a freezing cold winter day and the doors were locked because there was no school. Apparently she didn’t know. To make matters worse, my family moved to a new home that day. I was stranded and freezing and didn t know where to go. Finally I began walking to my old house which I was lucky to find, then I kept walking in the slippery snow. I fell several times but finally found my way to our new home.”
“When I walked in the house,” Pat continued, “no one noticed me or even said hello. I felt invisible and deeply hurt because it didn t matter whether I was there or not.” This is where Pat s current perception began and he started seeing everything through this lens. Since Pat now perceived he was invisible, he felt isolated, believing no one cared if he was there or not. After several sessions, Pat also realized he thought of his seizures as friends that made him feel less alone. “It’s like they were saying ‘we’re here for you,’” Pat said. In addition, he kept the seizures private, again being invisible and not trusting anyone else to understand.
Each revelation convinced me that the seizures were a desire for attention, the need to find somewhere Pat could belong like a family. The revelations also reinforced my belief that hypnosis could help and it did. After 18 sessions Pat’s seizures disappeared, including the one before bedtime which was the last to go. He also stopped taking his medication. This was remarkable since when we started, Pat’s neurologist sent me copies of his brain scans that showed me his epileptic spikes.
Something else that helped was that I didn’t charge Pat for my time and effort (although he paid me later). This showed him that I cared, that I had the where with all to be persistent and keep working with him to help him heal. When I recently checked in with Pat 35 years later he said the seizures had never returned. You can hear this in Pat’s own words in the attached video available at laserhypnosis.com.
“Dr. Laser was very committed to our work and to a good outcome,” Pat said. “She even agreed to let me pay her later as I was struggling at the time. The bottom line is she really cared about me and I was able to give up my seizures and my negative attitude. Now I m outgoing, productive, and I smile authentically everyday because Dr. Laser taught me to save my own life.”
And what did the experience with Pat teach me? That it’s not what happens but how we remember it. As I tell all my clients, the mind resembles a computer. We constantly insert, delete, and reboot. While no one can build a computer quite like the mind, my job is to help clients help themselves by rebooting the underlying issues that brought them to see me in the first place.
We were able to do this through hypnosis which allowed Pat to see his memories in great detail. This helped him make connections between his past and present, interrupt negative perceptions and promote positive change. Ultimately, we were able to access the memory of the winter day that created Pat s epilepsy and end his seizures. Bottom line, Pat rebooted. Now, more than 35 years later, he is and remains symptom free. His outlook is terrific, he has a successful career, and strong relationships. These great, ongoing results continue to confirm my initial impression that his seizures were quiet little storms and if we cleared them away there would be light and rainbows, the life Pat experiences now.
*Client named used with permission, client video provided with permission.
ELEANOR LASER, PH D is a medical hypnotist who is also trained to practice Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP); Eye Movement Desentation and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Hypnotherapy. To learn more about Elly’s work, please see her articles on LinkedIn and www.laserhypnosis.com.
Eleanor D. Laser Ph D
Elly.Laser@me.com
Laserhypnosis.com
312-961-7727